who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think i peed on brittanys purse
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
