At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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