Im at strip club and am horny
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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