Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
