I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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