i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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