At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
