Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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