Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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