that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
