I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
