well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
