its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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