pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
