Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
