So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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