I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
