A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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