I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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