i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize