Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
