Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Kiss
Puke
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
