turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize