Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize