girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
