Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
