drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
