I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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