I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
