i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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