He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize