I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
