is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
