she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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