Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
