well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize