DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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