Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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