Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
