I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
