JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
