So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
