I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
