Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am spending my child support on dildos
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
