I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
