forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
