she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
