Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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