yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
