I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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