There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How does one acquire holy water?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
