What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I looked at my own cervix.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
