ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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