In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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