Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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