Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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