google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
