...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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