somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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