i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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