cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
