She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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