should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
