Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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