Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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