Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize