All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
