I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
