i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
