Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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