Im at strip club and am horny
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
