I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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