this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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