some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
