I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
