so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
