Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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