remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm always down for nudity.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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